"When you've got a dream like mine
Nobody can put you down
When you've got a dream like mine
Nobody can push you around"
Bruce Cockburn, A Dream Like Mine, 1990
This song's been running through my head all week because,
as it turns out, I've got a dream.
Desire toward a goal. Sight beyond the now.
Finally and amazingly.
Ah, Bruce, my friend,
If only it were true
that dreams somehow disallow the pernicious scrutiny of others.
But I guess that's part of the gig.
We wake up sweating; we were dreaming.
We miss the important information; we were dreaming.
We plan our escape from the norm; we were dreaming.
It's dangerous to dream. Scandalous even.
Who on earth do I think I am making plans of further education in my mid-fifties?
It's not like I have been on a career track that warrants such a move.
And, not only that, but I'll be near sixty when I finish.
Who starts new then?
And what right have I to presume to assign funds to such education
with two young adults in my care? Young adults who have dreams of their own?
What manner of selfishness does dreaming require?
I like what Jon Acuff said today about fear:
"Being afraid isn’t failure. Staying afraid is...Staying afraid is a choice.
It’s a lifestyle, a scratchy comforter you pull over your head
in the hope that it will protect you from worse things."
Now there's the rub...the worse things.
The things that go bump in the night.
Perhaps there is value in being an "old" dreamer,
for I have faced many lions
I'll laugh at the days to come!